Bet the Mortgage: Week 17, 2017

So … let’s just say these two aren’t the ones you want to go to Vegas with. Or, at minimum, they aren’t the ones you want to be taking betting advice from.

Tony went 2-2, but lost his largest bet, ensuring a losing week. Andy … well … he started the season horrifically and he is ending it in even worse fashion. He went 0-4 for the second time in three weeks, ensuring that he’ll have an opportunity to end the season down not just his original bankroll, but a second bankroll as well.

He may need to sell himself on Tropicana Ave. just to make back enough to cover airfare home. And that might take a while.

Here are the standings:

And, mercifully, here are the season’s final bets.

Andy: Sigh. SMH. Sigh. WTF. Sigh.

$1,000 – Cleveland at Pittsburgh: Under 38 (-110) — Landry Jones versus … any QB Cleveland could throw out there — yeah, that’s how I want to spend the last day of 2017.

$1,500 – Baltimore (-10, +100) vs Cincinnati — There isn’t a ton of reason to expect Cincinnati to do much this week. Meanwhile, the Ravens have yet to clinch, but do so with a win. There is plenty of incentive for them to wrap this one up early.

$1,000 – Seattle (-9, -110) vs Arizona — Seattle needs some help to get into the playoffs, but the first thing they need to do is dispatch an Arizona team that has little to play for.

$800 – Green Bay (+250 money line) at Detroit — The Lions made pretty clear in crapping the bed last week — against a Cincinnati team that had made its intention to shut down for the season apparent a week earlier — that they could not care less how the season finishes. Green Bay is not good without Aaron Rodgers, but they have at least shown some fight on occasion. I don’t expect this to happen — why should I — my picks have been terrible all season — but I would not be surprised.

Tony: I’m at .500 for the season, but down almost half my bankroll. Guess that’s why it’s called gambling, not winning. Or something like that. Time to hit it big…or catch Andy.

$3,500 – NY Jets (+16.5, -110) at New England – Here’s a strange little nugget–the Jets are 7-1-1 against the spread facing New England in their last nine. Of course, I don’t know that any of those 9 games featured Bryce Petty at quarterback, but…what the hell, let’s roll.

$3,500 – LA Chargers (-7, +100) vs Oakland – The Raiders have been a confusing team all year. Reports out now are that they might be pursuing Jon Gruden to be their head coach. That might motivate some players to play hard today, to save Jack Del Rio’s job. It will certainly motivate some fans to cheer for the Chargers, though, to get Chucky out of the booth.

$2,500 – Houston at Indianapolis: Under 42 (-110) – I wish I’d gotten this at 44 when it opened, but this game has it all–backup QB vs…the backup’s backup backup QB? Texans should have thrown everyone a loop and tried to sign Kaepernick. Seriously, though, I’d still be considering the under if it was 30 for this one.

$1,000 – Chicago (+600 moneyline) at Minnesota – The Minnesotan thing to do…but the offensive line shuffling is a bit of a concern for the Vikings. I hope I miss on this one, because even though there are multiple paths to the Vikings getting the bye, I’m not so sure that them winning isn’t the only one that actually happens…